Friday, June 25, 2004
Madonna? I laugh in your face!
I did it!
I am the first gay man EVER to give up FREE Madonna tickets! And do you want to hear the best part? They were VIP tickets and we could have gotten backstage! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I am the devil and you LOVE it!
The thing is, Madonna has always made me snore. Of course there are certain songs of hers that I can tolerate and even a few I know completely by heart. But that’s because she’s a pop icon and I would never begrudge her that. However, with it being gay pride (and the concert swarming with people that irk me) and with Madonna changing her name to Esther and with everything she does making me want to cringe with overexposure, the idea of sitting in a stadium cheering for her made my insides curl up and die. I just didn’t want to go.
I’m kind of proud of myself. All I hear from my friends is “This is a once in a lifetime opportunity!” And my response is “For who? Me or Madonna?”
When my kids ask me if I’ve ever had the chance to see Madonna in concert I will say “I had VIP tickets and decided to go out to dinner with my boyfriend instead.”
They will respond “But Daddy, couldn’t you have gone to dinner with Daddy any other day?”
And I will say “Babycakes, Daddy was the only gay man ever born that never had an interest in Madonna. Now, if it was Alicia Keys or Jason Mraz or Nelly Furtado or a piece of shit dangling from a red kabbalah string, I would have gone in a second. But to have Madonna attached to that piece of string totally ruined it. Daddy does what daddy wants. Not what others think he should do.”
They will then say “Oh Daddy…we love you.”
We will all hug each other and then we will all take dumps. Ah.
Gay Pride is slowly winding down. I’m off to lunch today with my friend Mariah. We will eat in Chelsea and cruise all of the boys while sipping on wine and chowing on some sort of gay themed food product (probably juicy hot dogs slathered in cum).
Tomorrow I’m to meet up with my friends from college (56B in da house!) for a bachelorette party. We will drive around the city in a limo and I will be the only gay man in NYC to attend straight bars during Gay Pride Week. But Rita will be there, so it will be all worth it.
On Sunday, it’s off to the big parade! Then there will be lunch and much much much bar hopping. I will hang around as long as I can and then its home to bed with me. I hate going out drinking on Sundays, cuz I need to start my Monday feeling somewhat in control. And I have a huge week ahead of me. Two theatre meetings, my birthday and Fourth of July. YIPES! My dick almost shriveled into a vagina it got so intimidated by all these plans.
I hope you all enjoy your weekend!
If you see Madonna, tell her I’m truly sorry I didn’t have the chance to share a carrot stick with her after the show. I was busy picking nits out of Courtney Love’s hair. She really needed my help.
PEACE OUT!
I did it!
I am the first gay man EVER to give up FREE Madonna tickets! And do you want to hear the best part? They were VIP tickets and we could have gotten backstage! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I am the devil and you LOVE it!
The thing is, Madonna has always made me snore. Of course there are certain songs of hers that I can tolerate and even a few I know completely by heart. But that’s because she’s a pop icon and I would never begrudge her that. However, with it being gay pride (and the concert swarming with people that irk me) and with Madonna changing her name to Esther and with everything she does making me want to cringe with overexposure, the idea of sitting in a stadium cheering for her made my insides curl up and die. I just didn’t want to go.
I’m kind of proud of myself. All I hear from my friends is “This is a once in a lifetime opportunity!” And my response is “For who? Me or Madonna?”
When my kids ask me if I’ve ever had the chance to see Madonna in concert I will say “I had VIP tickets and decided to go out to dinner with my boyfriend instead.”
They will respond “But Daddy, couldn’t you have gone to dinner with Daddy any other day?”
And I will say “Babycakes, Daddy was the only gay man ever born that never had an interest in Madonna. Now, if it was Alicia Keys or Jason Mraz or Nelly Furtado or a piece of shit dangling from a red kabbalah string, I would have gone in a second. But to have Madonna attached to that piece of string totally ruined it. Daddy does what daddy wants. Not what others think he should do.”
They will then say “Oh Daddy…we love you.”
We will all hug each other and then we will all take dumps. Ah.
Gay Pride is slowly winding down. I’m off to lunch today with my friend Mariah. We will eat in Chelsea and cruise all of the boys while sipping on wine and chowing on some sort of gay themed food product (probably juicy hot dogs slathered in cum).
Tomorrow I’m to meet up with my friends from college (56B in da house!) for a bachelorette party. We will drive around the city in a limo and I will be the only gay man in NYC to attend straight bars during Gay Pride Week. But Rita will be there, so it will be all worth it.
On Sunday, it’s off to the big parade! Then there will be lunch and much much much bar hopping. I will hang around as long as I can and then its home to bed with me. I hate going out drinking on Sundays, cuz I need to start my Monday feeling somewhat in control. And I have a huge week ahead of me. Two theatre meetings, my birthday and Fourth of July. YIPES! My dick almost shriveled into a vagina it got so intimidated by all these plans.
I hope you all enjoy your weekend!
If you see Madonna, tell her I’m truly sorry I didn’t have the chance to share a carrot stick with her after the show. I was busy picking nits out of Courtney Love’s hair. She really needed my help.
PEACE OUT!
